Friday 21 August 2015

When you need to step back.

There comes a time, especially it seems when you blog, that you need to step back. Step back from the laptop, social media and writing. Over the last few months I have been really working hard on my blog, almost at times consumed by it. Being on maternity leave has enabled me to devote more time to it and write, what I feel is some decent content. This is all well and good but in all honesty I feel I am starting to sacrifice some moments that I won't get back with Alfie & Elarna.

I seem to be feeling more and more guilty as the weeks go on that I am sat in front of my laptop for quite a considerable amount of time, be it writing, promoting posts, editing photos or sorting out the linky (which is love doing but it is time consuming) or chatting online. I do absolutely love my blog but I know deep down that I need to step away from it during the week, it is keeping me very busy of late which is great and I'm having some wonderful opportunities but I do need to take a reality check.

This conversation has made me realise this.

This little voice is calling me, talking to me, almost pleading with me.

'Alfie: 'mummy will you play?'

Me: 'In a minute'

Alfie: *tugs my hand* 'mummyyyyyy, set up my train track, pleasseeeee!'

Me: 'In a minute!!!'

Alfie: 'pleaseeeeee!!!'

Me: *getting frustrated* 'just let me finish what I'm doing..............'

Alfie then takes himself off and starts playing quietly, I then feel hugely guilty. What is it that can't wait? My blog can wait, social media can wait, emails can wait. For christs sake I am NEVER going to get this precious time back with these two children .

Elarna starts to cry, I pick her up and sit her on my kneee and with one hand continue to do what I was doing, tapping away on a post I was writing. Elarna at this age obviously doesn't know that I'm not devoting my full attention to her at this point but Alfie on the other hand is well aware of it and has now started to ask me if I'm working which obviously not a good thing. 

I'm trying to think of ways to manage my time so I can have more time during the day to play, go for walks and have cuddles on the sofa. Over the last week I have started to do this and it's been really lovely, I will do a little bit in the morning and then focus on playtime or heading out in the garden. I went for a long walk on Monday with Alfie, Elarna and my parents, we went to the park, we looked at the lorries  on the A14 and then we went to meet Daddy at the station, it felt great to be out and away from my laptop and social media for a while. Tuesday Alfie was at nursery so I was able to do housework, look after Elarna and do bloggy related things. Wednesday, linky day is a bit manic and it was awful weather but Alfie and I read some books, played with his trains and sat on the sofa and chatted, today Alfie was at nursery and I popped out for a few hours so again was away from all things bloggy for a while. 

It's actually felt quite refreshing, I mean lets face it I don't have to write posts every day, it doesn't really matter if my stats suddenly drop because I'm not blogging or promoting, these things can all be done later on when the babes are in bed or even another day. 

So from next week I'm declaring a day of no stressing about writing for my blog. I'm going to check my emails, reply to any that need replying to, I will link up any posts that I feel I need to but for the rest of the day I will be with my children and enjoying the last few months with them before I return to work (shudder). Once the kids are in bed business can then resume as normal. 

Guilt, it really is a funny old thing though, it eats away at you. The days go so quickly by the time I know it's bedtime. I have been feeling so crappy the last few days about not spending enough time with the 2 of them that I'm really looking forward to the next few days when I know we have some quality time lined up.

Please tell me that I'm not the only who feels like this? How do you deal with dedicating time to children and hobbies?Any advice appreciated!

The Reading Residence

thumbnailsizeBinky Linky

And then the fun began...


  1. You're maybe overanalysing? Yes you do want to have time with the kids and definitely grab that while you can if returning to work, the next few years become a real balancing act of commitment to work and being there when your family needs you. (My kids were born in 1998 and 2003 and I've worked once both were 5 months old - shorter maternity leave then - and even at 16 and 11 they need me around even if it's just to drop them at the cinema as there are no buses there from where we live).
    But, you do have yourself to think of, if this is your hobby, then it's not unreasonable to spend a few hours a week on it. Mine's Guiding and my husband's is cycling and we support each other to ensure we get the time we need - he is the available adult one night a week while I'm at the meetings and also when I do residential weekends (with and without Brownies, part of the fun for me are the other leaders) and in his turn, he gets a 90 min bike ride one night after work plus all of one weekend morning without feeling guilty.
    Final point: yes, enjoy setting up trains with your boy and I totally get the guilt when your kid isn't asking a big thing of you, yet you're doing something that could have waited. But he is also learning to play without having it all done for him and primary teachers will tell you that is a very valuable skill in Reception class.

  2. Sometimes it's good to step away and do real life stuff, and it sounds like you've a plan for redressing the balance and I know it's easy to say this but don't feel so guilty. As the comment above says it's a way of teaching him to be more independent and that will stand him in good stead, and I'm pretty sure he won't look back and say "mummy was always working" because he'll remember the times you played and read and went out and did stuff together. #wotw

  3. You're definitely not alone in this! It is a balancing act. Sometimes I have no choice but to do some work in the day (as my blog is my income) but I try to keep it for just in the evenings when the kids are in bed. x #WotW

  4. You are not alone....I have stepped back a bit during the summer holidays....Posts have gone up but I have been less active on Social media and spent more time with the kids....I've felt guilty for not reading and commenting on as many blogs as I normally do....Then when I have had computer time felt guilty for not being with the kids....It's so hard to find the right balance...

  5. I can soooo relate. Recently I've been leaving my blogging until the evenings when the kids are in bed or during the little ones nap time. It is really easy to become consumed by blogging. I'm focusing on posting 4-5times a week at her than everyday and making it quality over quantity. I'm tempted to start a linky but everyone says how time consuming it is so perhaps I'll leave that on the shelf for now! #BinkyLinky

  6. I too am guilty of this and should be spending far more time with my boy. I tend to just catch up when he is having a nap these days. I'm very good at 'Ohh, i'll just reply to this and then i'll be with you', then the next tweet comes along! Its all very time consuming and there is time to be had better elsewhere! I think every blogger could say the same if they were honest xx #BinkyLinky

  7. This post makes me feel the same hun. I am the same. To be fair I'm not on the laptop for long when the gremlin is around as she is too much but more on social media and chatting. I'm trying to get all organised so I have more time in the day! Good luck and glad you enjoyed your time xx #binkylinky

  8. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and breath. You're not alone in this. I've felt the same at times. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

  9. It is so hard to balance, you're not alone! I think I'm there now, but every once in a while the work piles up and I get the guilt, but then it's because I blog that I can afford to be at home with them full time, so I remind myself of this once in a while! Sounds like you're getting the balance back :) Thanks for sharing with #WotW

  10. I feel the same! I've hardly written anything lately, Ollie learns something new everyday and I don't won't to miss his life because I'm too busy writing about his life. (He learnt how to blow kisses today!) I've always thought if your virtual life is good, your real life suffers! Real life is the priority!

  11. I tend to do blogging on the train, during my lunch break at work and in the evening when the Tubblet's asleep. If it doesn't get done then, it can wait until tomorrow! It's hard to manage it all, so you just do what you can when you can. But, if you feel that blogging about your family is getting in the way of being with your family, maybe rejig things a little bit so you're doing more family. Good luck!

  12. It's all about scheduling! Sounds like you have a good plan in place - allow time for your blog, the playtime, where you switch off the computer and leave your phone somewhere you can't check Twitter every 2 minutes (maybe that's just me lol). #binkylinky

  13. We've all been there. Just remember that it is important to find time for yourself or you'll go a little crazy after a while

  14. We have all been in this position don't be hard on yourself take time thanks for linking to the Binkylinky

  15. I know this guilt. Its all too familiar. I have stepped back from the blog too as this is what always takes up my time to play with my son more. I have to admit that my rankings fell a lot but my son is happy this summer holidays and that is what matters. #wotw

  16. Your not the only one but I think as parents we will feel guilty about everything. Great post. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

  17. I totally know how you feel and I had to do the same a while back. I am not as present on social media now and I may not always manage to join as many linkys or comment on as many posts but really, what's more important? Good for you hon and hope you feel better and more relaxed as a result! Xx

  18. In my first year of blogging I got massively wrapped up in it too but I found that when our lives changed - different work patterns, my eldest starting school etc., it all became a bit too much and I was forced to have a bit more of a break and stop blogging every single day. It is actually quite nice to be less obsessive about it. I think it is better for my relationships too. Thanks for linking up to #thetruthabout Xx

  19. You are not alone!! I feel exactly the same!! I thought this to myself the past few weeks - need to do something about it!
    Such a great post.

    Thanks so much for linking up with #justanotherlinky


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