|Image courtesy of davidduke.com
Damn. Being a Mum of two is hard. Now I was under no illusion that of course it would be but I think I'd perhaps convinced myself that it can't be that hard? I mean, what on earth do those people do that have more than two children, they cope don't they???
I feel I'm turning into one of those frazzled Mum's, you know the ones you see that look like the walking dead, with no real clue what day it is let alone what year. So many people have said to me 'the second is much easier' and I mean SO many people and I guess yes she is a little bit easier than Alfie but she's still very demanding! Plus I think you forget about alot of things that come with looking after a baby and I think she's taking after her brother and wanting to spend more time awake than asleep, those people that say that babies are easy because they sleep all the time, pahhh who you are kidding you haven't seen my kids!!
It's really quite hard to adapt from suddenly going from one little body to two, you can mentally prep before hand but physically it's quite tricky, I don't know how to divide myself, how can I give Alfie attention when I'm feeding Elarna when he suddenly decides he wants to have a cuddle or to play but then have to tell him that I'll be a minute or he'll have to hold on, it's something that we're both not used to, I then have to deal with tears or a tantrum as he doesn't get why all of a sudden Mummy's attention is else where when it used to be dedicated all to just him. I confess, I forgot just how a newborn can take up so much of your time, now she's over a month old she's having growth spurts and starting to be a little more awake and cry more so I'm then having to figure out her needs and then Alfie's! Plus, it's while my attention is on Elarna that Alfie then decides to do something naughty knowing it'll be difficult for me to do something about it (clever little sausage that he is!). The naughty corner seems to be getting more use these days, I was reassured by the Health Visitor that things should improve by 6 weeks (wahoo, seriosuly, I hope!), I know that he's just attention seeking but it is hard to try not to scream and shout and the amount of times I'm saying no to him is unbelievable!
Just this morning this is the state of our downstairs (and yes he is still in his pj's!), Alfie decided that he wasn't getting enough attention and thought the best way to get some was to empty his toy box and throw the entire contents of his toy kitchen over the floor while hitting Daddy and our (glass) dining table with a wooden toy. You can find me mostly rocking in a corner today......or until Grandma and Grandad arrive and they can alleviate some of the angst!
I feel I'm running on empty already, the broken sleep and lack of food (which apparently is standard when looking after 2!) makes for one shattered and short tempered Mama, not to mention tests your relationship to your other half to the max! It all comes flooding back, the sleepless nights, the eating with one hand and the ability to identify what is a hunger/tired/poop cry and generally realising that other things will just have to take a back seat. The pecking order in this household is currently children, the cats, Mummy and then Daddy!
Alfie is a little hurricane, he doesn't nap during the day (he hasn't since about 18 months) and he is a super active little lad, this is both great and not so as he is on the go ALL day (seriously where does this boy get his energy from?), it's very tiring when he wants me to play with him or go in the garden when I've got a screaming newborn also kicking off! In a way I'm missing our one on one time and I'm hoping that soon I'll be able to give him a little more attention when Elarna settles into more of a routine.
That being said he does appear to really love his little sister and I'm really loving those little moments that I am seeing, like before he goes to bed he gives Elarna a kiss on the head and says goodnight, he then gives me a cuddle and tells me he loves me, which after a hard and tiring day makes it all worth it and my heart does do a little jump, so cute.
I know that it will get easier in time, I don't want to rush the newborn part as most of the time it's such a lovely stage to enjoy but I am looking forward to getting more sleep and being able to eat with two hands again!
It's still weird referring to myself as a Mum of 2, I almost don't feel grown up enough to be a Mum, I still feel 21......well ok maybe 25. I'm officially an adult, I'm getting old (boohoo!).
Is it too early for wine?!!
Is it too early for wine?!!
Please reassure me that it gets easier? I'm sure it does but some positive thoughts would be great right now!