As I creep into your room an hour after putting you to bed I can hardly believe that the little angel that I'm looking down on was the hurricane that has been giving me a tough time over the last few days. You look so innocent, peaceful and so quiet (thank god for that.....!). I mean the last sentence in the nicest, possible way obviously. I feel like I am struggling at the moment. You are giving me a hard time and you don't even know it.
Lets take yesterday for example, the morning you were ok until I allowed you to watch the tablet for half an hour while I washed my hair and got ready and I took it from you and I was number 1 hated mummy. Then you had a strop because I took your cereal bowl even though it was empty. Grandma and Grandad came over to help me out and you were pretty nasty to Grandma even though all she ever does is her best for you. Being rude and hitting out at them makes them not want to visit which makes me sad. You then threw a few things around, didn't want to eat your lunch and pretty much screamed no at me whenever I asked you something. Even after all of this Grandma and Grandad took you for a walk but then you came home and still acted horribly, you then bit Elarna although I wasn't sure at first that you had........until I saw the marks. At bedtime you were a bit better but still crying and stropping because Daddy wasn't home and made it tough for me. You did go to sleep but it was Mummy that was feeling exhausted after all this!
The last couple of days have definitely been the most testing in a long time, this evening I have felt like crying from a mixture of feeling like a failing parent and just pure anxiety. I thought that you had been quite a resilient little bug from the move but perhaps it has affected you more than I thought. You seem to have taken on a different persona of late, yes you are still my wonderful little boy who is at times, charming, sweet and loving but your exuberance, stubborn behaviour, stroppiness and crabbiness seems to be sadly winning and I have no clue what to do.
I am seeing behaviour that I haven't seen in a long time, the worst being the biting. I really thought we had gone past this stage but now not only has he nipped myself and hubby he has bitten Elarna badly to the point of nearly breaking her skin in the last few days. Worse still it is blatant and done right in front of me, usually when I'm boiling the kettle or putting clothes away. Thankfully the biting has never been to other children, I would be mortified if so! This is the behaviour that I don't know how to handle, he's had a right rollicking for doing it and several stints on the naughty step but still I feel I'm a fighting a losing battle. He knows it's naughty and he shouldn't be doing it and I'm assuming it's for attention but how on earth do I stop him doing it? There are so many conflicting bits of advice online but one thing I do know is that I won't be biting him back, logically I do not know how that teaches a child not to bite.
I worry that disrupting his routine in nursery hasn't helped, we have found a nursery that we like so I'm hoping that him getting back into twice weekly sessions which he was doing will hopefully help. He needs alot of stimulation, he's a very, very active boy and some of the activities that nursery can offer are definitely things that I can't at home, plus he has the social aspect and can burn off lots of energy while playing.
He occasionally does hit me, headbutt me and screams at me and makes weird dinosaur noises and very rarely listens to what I'm telling him unless I really yell at him (which I hate doing) or bribe......then he does seem to pay attention. It's so hard, I am constantly questioning my parenting, have I done something wrong? Is this a phase (which it probably is)? Have I made him this way, is it my fault? Why won't he listen? How does he know which buttons to press? Do I pay him more attention, do I pay him less?
I know I'm making him sound like some sort of demon child, the majority of the time he is a lovely little lad and as I said above he does have his wonderful side, he really is a sweet boy but this other side of him is just not so nice. If this is a phase I hope it passes quickly otherwise I really am going to need some serious guidance!
I don't want to prattle on too much, and I really do want to emphasise that I love him dearly to the moon and back, he is my main man! He is hard work though. I think the term spirited sums him up......he's spirited, yes that's it!
Can anyone offer me any advice? Is this a phase? Is it my parenting fails that are causing the issues or is it just that he is simply testing the boundaries? Help!!!