Friday, 16 June 2017

Parenting - The Challenge

I don't know what's worse, parenting a fiery 5 year old, a diva of a 2 year old or my husband......pick up your own grungy undies dear, it leads for an incredibly bad example. Each poses a challenge unto itself that's for sure. It's exhausting. 

Yesterday was one of those nights. Trying to tackle tea time and bed time myself with a shrieking, tantrumming toddler and a cranky, over tired, starving (well he isn't starved but he's a growing lad that eats alot at the moment) was not a whole lot of fun if I'm honest. I couldn't get food on the table quick enough, a mutiny was just avoided.......... just. 

The minute we sat down to eat tea the yelling and yobbish behaviour started.......you would think my son was some sort of animal the noises he comes out with which then starts his sister off. I go to the toilet and I'm gone a couple of minutes to come back and find him scaling the kitchen sides like Spiderman......why I hear you ask......no idea, apparently it was a fun thing to do. I then turn into 'shouty' Mum who doesn't come out very often but being the hormonal time of month (makes things sooo much worse) shouty Mum does sometimes appear. We then have a stint on the step for some time out when Elarna then starts screaming and decides she didn't want her tea and only wanted an ice lolly. Cue us both having a stand off over her plate and the contents nearly ending up on the floor as we pushed it back and forward between us like a game of air hockey.  The conversation went a little like this but times it byt 10 'no food, no ice lolly' - broken record springs to mind. 

I then get Alfie off the step and he then proceeds to tell me 'you are NOT my best friend anymore Mummy, I'm really mad at you', that's fine son I'm not your best friend anyway I am your Mother and that is a fact. The thing is I hate having battles with my kids, I truly hate it and I find it hard to discipline effectively, shouting results in a war of words and speaking on their level is just laughable. Elarna takes herself to the naughty step so that isn't overly effective and Alfie just wails and strops while sitting on the step. Parenting is tough. It really is, every day is a constant challenge in our house, never does a day go by when they will do as they're told. Elarna perhaps still a little young to expect understanding from her but Alfie, he's 5 now and I know he understands between right and wrong but he has become very good at pressing our buttons, testing us to see where his boundary lies and just how far he can push us. I can honestly say it takes a good 3 times of asking him to do something before he might think about it, consider it and maybe do it. At times, it is like having a conversation with a pineapple. 



So as I started my post I come back to my original question. Who is harder to parent? I find both my children polar opposites really, as much as they look alike they couldn't be further apart. Alfie has the attention span of a gnat, can't sit still and is very much a boy that will do things on his terms.......at times I do feel like he tries to rule the roost and has some serious problems using his 'listening ears', but he's kind, caring and quite the bookworm. Alfie actually never used to be this character, he was always quite reserved and shy but recently has come out of his shell hugely, so I find trying to contain his exuberance hard at times. Elarna is everything Alfie wasn't when he was her age. She's confident, cheeky, throws the mother of all tantrums, knows what she wants and is creative, loves to colour and look after her dollies. I guess that makes it even harder having to adopt a different discipline to each child and to try and remain fair but it can be really difficult to get the balance right, if I ever do. 

I conclude that both my kids are hard to parent in one way or another. I never thought for one second it was going to be easy but god I wish they did come with a manual to at least point me in the right direction! 

Anyone else constantly feel like they are having conversations with pineapples as opposed to their children?

21 comments:

  1. I've never thought of it as having a conversation with a pineapple but I guess it does fit. My three all have very different personalities and require different parenting skills so you are not alone in this. The hubby doesn't get this and will treat them all the same causing all sorts of mayhem. #wotw

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  2. Ahh! I know exactly where you are coming from...My girls are the same. What works for one doesn't for the other.
    Just wait until they are older...Teenagers only have ears for decoration. lol
    #WotW

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  3. Love the pineapple comparison! Oh, it is hard work and I suspect no two children are ever the same so we do need to parent differently every time. My two are quite different personalities, makes for life to be interesting never boring, right?! Thanks for sharing with #WotW x

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  4. Parenting is solid especially with dealing with the needs of two different types of children and trying to manage it all. One child of mine is autistic so comes with additional needs and trying to make sure both get the same attention is tricky X #wotw

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  5. I love that cheeky photo of them both! My 2 kids are both really different too. You want to treat them both the same but they need different things and different discipline strategies. It's tough #blogcrush

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  6. The bad news is it doesn't get easier. At 9 my daughter still doesn't listen or do as she's been asked first time. She's the biggest faffer ever!! Thanks for hosting #bestandworst

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  7. Oh the amount of times I've said to L I'm not his friend I'm his mummy. To be fair I should be parenting him now instead of reading blogs but it;s not even 7am yet and I want to leave being a shouty mum until at least 7am #bestandworst

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  8. Hi, I've never thought about having a conversation with a pineapple. If only this and other things in life came with a manual to help. An an adorable photo at the end #bestandworst

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  9. Every day I seem to be tackling something different with my two boys and they are so different that I really lose out if I try and mother them the same, its like I have to talk two different languages when dealing with them:)
    Mainy
    #bestandworst

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  10. Haha it so varies from day to day! But I feel you. The grem is currently playing quietly and her sister is zzzin. This is a good day! Ok strike that, I have to go and play! Hope you have a better tea today! xx #bestandworst x

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  11. My two are also chalk and cheese and have to be handled differently. Parenting little ones is particularly challenging, but you're doing a great job. Sadly kids are flipping nuts and haven't bothered to read all those parenting books we buy #bestandworst xx

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  12. I only have one, so I can't even imagine how tough 2 must be! I know me and my brother are completely different characters so I think that's pretty normal. #bestandworst

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  13. I have a teenage pineapple! I feel your pain. No ideas for how to make it better though

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  14. I totally agree. All four of mine are very different, I feel like I get to grips with one stage and lose touch with another! Parenting is hard work, I think we can all relate to that. #bestandworst

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  15. I fail one of my four kids every day.
    #runjumpscrap

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  16. This is true of most households I would think, I wish that I had the knowledge I have now after child minding for many years, on managing behaviour when my own children were small, as for the husband they train best by doing the same as a dog treat with rewards and plenty of praise! #thatfridaylinky@_karendennis

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  17. It's funny how despite having the same parents children can have different love languages. I can already see differences with my daughters who are 2 and 1. #bestandworst

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  18. Oh yes, having kids is tough at times. It seems every time I leave the room, they start to argue! Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

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  19. Oh my goodness, I had one hell of a day with Cygnet today. He turns three in a couple of months. He deliberately wiped his spaghetti bolognese mouth on my cushion after I told him not to get his mouth near it. He whined. He shouted. He laughed at me. He went on the naughty mat at least 10 times. I found the only thing that remotely worked was to leave the room and ignore him. This is possible when you are at home, but isn't really an option when you are in the natural history museum. Thanks for your post. Pen x #thatfridaylinky

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  20. Parenting is hard. My eldest just doesn't listen and is horrified to be told off but my daughter is deliberately naughty when she wants to be (as in looks me in the eye and carries on!). My youngest is learning the word 'no' and has a meltdown every time I rescue the washing machine... #bestandworst

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  21. Loving this all my children are different and I believe need parenting in completly different ways great read really interesting Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

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