Monday, 9 February 2015

The Torture Cry/Naked Protest

I want to talk to you about the torture cry.

The torture cry is just that. Torturous. There is usually no warning, sometimes the torture cry just happens out of the blue and BAM one stroppy, screaming two year old. Who knows what really sets it off,  but it can be anything from not getting his own way to being tired or just wanting to push Mummy and Daddy's buttons but one thing is for sure when it starts it's a mission to stop it! When Alfie starts the torture cry he knows exactly what he's doing and what he's wanting to achieve it's just a shame Mummy and Daddy are never quite so sure!

I had the torture cry this morning, not only the torture cry but a naked protest, thankfully not a dirty one!




The morning started off well, cuddles in  bed watching a little bit of TV before heading downstairs for brekkie, Alfie was happily playing with his trains when within seconds clothes were suddenly being taken off and thrown across the kitchen and that cry, or should I say wail started, the devil horns emerged and I was presented with a naked and whinging. Having no idea what prompted this episode of torture I unsuccessfully tried to reason with tantrumming child but to no avail! 

Torture cry then evolved into the naked protest being taken to the sofa and several minutes of wailing and screaming ensued and various cushions and toys being thrown.

Mummy: 'Alfie what's the matter?'

Alfie: 'Wahhhhhhhh wahhhhhh,sob sob'

Mummy: 'Can I put your clothes back on please?'

Alfie: 'No Mummy, go away Mummy, bad Mummy, wahhhhhhh!'

Mummy: *sigh*

Clearly this was meant to test my patience and push my buttons!




I tried every trick in the book to get said toddler out of torture mode but nothing at all was going to work, TV NO, snacks NO, going to the slide, NO, colouring, NO........ so  that would be me  rocking in the corner in that case! 

In actual fact I can deal with this type of crying a whole lot better than my husband, I can ignore it to a degree which seems to be the best method but for my husband this type of crying really can push him over the edge, which is surprising really as I'm not the most patient person in our relationship!  Of course it is truly difficult to snap a tantrumming toddler out of it and seeing as Alfie is well into the terrible two's we have kind of grown used to him switching moods quite quickly. I'm curious to know does the terrible two's stop when he reaches three? Does it?? Does it?? Someone enlighten me!



Reasoning just does not seem to have any effect when Alfie is in full blown torture cry, tantrum mode I find that just letting him get it out of his system seems to be the best method and  as quickly as he starts with a tantrum he can snap out of it and be back to normal, I would love to know what goes on in a toddler's mind!




There are many types of cry that a toddler can perform, they really are clever little things and know exactly what they're doing, I just wish I knew how to understand the logic behind it! The torture cry is very different to a  tired cry or a hungry cry, for example the torture cry is more like a wail, I can liken it to an alarm that you just keep hearing constantly and it won't stop, I truly think it should be recorded and used for interrogation purposes, I'm sure Alfie would happily oblige and if it was used on my I would most certainly crack after a while!

The naked protest along with the torture crying is a new one on me though, not entirely sure what that was meant to achieve and up to this point in the day I have still not been allowed to put his pants and trousers on, so I have a half dressed child but he is happy at the moment so who am I to argue!

Who else understands what I'm saying. The torture cry, it's a toughie right?


Best of Worst

MaternityMondays 

49 comments:

  1. I found with mine that things improved dramatically when they had the communication skills to say what they wanted, so there is hope, honest!

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    1. Thansk for the comment and giving me a glimmer of hope Lucy! :-) x

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  2. Mine can even squeeze a tear or 2 out during the torture cry! Then smile and be loving again... toddlers!

    Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks
    x

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  3. Yes it's a toughie, I remember them well! I think it's good to ignore, if you can. I know you said you can do that. I guess the rule is to never give treats to a badly behaved toddler. It'll only make matters worse if you do. Sadly, the tantrums don't end at 3! I can't remember when they do grow out of them exactly, but my daughter's 10 and we still get the odd tantrum ;)

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    1. Oh no! Hopefully they will become less erratic and he'll be able to tell me what's wrong instead. X

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  4. It's tough when you can't figure out what the cause of the tantrum is, i'm still getting the odd tantrums with the youngest who's 6 and most of time I still don't know what causes them!

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    1. Here I was hoping that he would just snap out of it haha, no such luck then I'm guessing! x

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  5. SUCH a toughie! My Bubs has always had a crazy-load tortured cry but only recently has it been happening like this! That sudden switch from happily play to 'THE WORLD IS AGAINST ME!' is hard to deal with, so I'm glad to read it's not just me! You do need to develop a filter and realise the can turn it on and off and aren't ACTUALLY being tortured!!
    I wrote a sort of prequel post to this a while back, if you're interested: http://malcontentedmother.com/2014/09/17/mummy-mantras-2-hes-not-sad-hes-just-a-baby/

    Nice to discover your blog!

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    1. He certainly knows how to push the buttons, clever little things these toddlers! x

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  7. Such a toughie! So hard sometimes to remember that they can turn it on when it sounds like they're actually being tortured!!! My Bubs has just started the whole crying-suddenly-for-no-discernible-reason thing. Bleurgh to that!
    I wrote a sort of prequel post to this a while back, if you're interested: http://malcontentedmother.com/2014/09/17/mummy-mantras-2-hes-not-sad-hes-just-a-baby/

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  8. My little baby boy is not two yet, but also has similar tantrums....i am scared of what those will become when he reaches the terrible two!x #mummymonday

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  9. Oh dear!! Amelia seems to be well on the way to mastering the tantrum. God knows what the neighbours must think; she's screaming her head off because I'm putting a sock on or something minor haha! Thanks for linking up #MummyMonday xx

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    1. I often wonder what the neighbours think too! Alfie is the same, simple things like trying to put a t-shirt on and he's having a melt down! x

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  10. The naked torture cry! We've had something similar with Archie (who's only 13 months), but his is because he hates his nappy being changed so he promptly cries and scarpers mid-changing, and usually pees on the floor in the corner before letting me dress him. >_< #mummymonday

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  11. I feel your pain! Mine is going through the same and we had a play date yesterday with a child also going through the same. It brings me to tears sometimes from frustration and not knowing how I can make him happy. Best thing to do is hand them over to your man or a family member one evening, grab some wine and see a friend! The freedom from the stress is liberating! Xx

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    1. Oh yes, sometimes I need to after a day with him! X

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  12. haha I remember this one!! haha #bestandworst

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  13. For all this must make you want to scream, I think its easier to ignore than a pain cry - at least you know he's just having a tantrum and nothing is actually wrong. Thanks for hosting #bestandworst
    Debbie
    www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

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    1. Yes exactly and as soon as they start it stops......toddlers eh! x

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  14. oooh yeah, been there, but I have to admit it sometimes makes me laugh - oh the drama queen-ness of it all! And does it get better at 3? have you heard the term 'threenager'? I'm hopfull things improve at 4 years old ;-) #bestandworst

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    1. I know what you mean, me too! No it doesn't get better at three as you'll have seen haha. X

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  15. OMG, i hate hate despise that cry. It so sudden and strong and intense and aaaaaaahhh!!!!! I am so bad at dealing with them too! Three kids and you´d think I´d know! I dont. They just go over my head. My smallest actually does the torture cry and the body stiffening at the same time so I cant even hug her or try to hold her. oh man. I get you. I really do. And yes, they do stop eventually.....

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  16. OMG, i hate hate despise that cry. It so sudden and strong and intense and aaaaaaahhh!!!!! I am so bad at dealing with them too! Three kids and you´d think I´d know! I dont. They just go over my head. My smallest actually does the torture cry and the body stiffening at the same time so I cant even hug her or try to hold her. oh man. I get you. I really do. And yes, they do stop eventually.....
    #bestandworst

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  17. It's so hard isn't it - they each have one that just instantly frazzles your nerves. But there seems to be so much emotion (a full-sized person's worth) packed into such a small person, with no real tools to deal with it. I think when they can communicate more, the frustration definitely drops. #bestandworst

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    1. That is so very true, it's incredible the energy that they can put into it! x

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  18. Some of it comes, I suspect, from an inability to communicate what they want or do all the things they want. It seems to improve as they get older. Good luck!

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    1. Yes I agree, poor little mini people it's a complicated life! x

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  19. Haha - had the torture cries but no naked protests over here yet! #bestandworst

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  20. It will get easier - although no promises! It's so hard for them to properly communicate at this age...reasoning does eventually come into play... Lots of hugs seemed to work with my little girl. Thanks for hosting #bestandworst

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    1. Lol, I might be waiting a while for it to be easier I fear.....X

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  21. It is so hard raising toddlers. That torture cry,....it can really get to me! The other day: toddler cried because she didn't want to clean up her colouring, then she cried because I started to clean it up, then she cried because she wanted to put her tiny sticker stars into a large plastic bag (huh?). That was all in about 15 minutes before heading out the door. Then we are outside and she cries because I am trying to put suntan lotion on her and then cries because she wants sunscreen. Then I ask her if she wants to sit in the stroller or walk. She chooses to walk so I put her baby sister in the stroller. Then she cries because she wants to sit where baby sister is sitting. What! Long story haha but I hear ya mama!!

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  22. Oops forgot to say #bestandworst

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  23. Ugh Helen I hear ya! Its so annoying too that were the ones that always deal with it and Daddy swans in and out to and from work getting all the cuddles, snuggles and joy (followed by "i dont get why your saying its so hard?") hhaha My just 3 year old often will throw herself on the floor with absolutely zero reasoning to be done. SO ANNOYING x

    #bestandworst

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    1. Yes, exactly!! We get the torturous parts, wahhh! x

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  24. Oohh it's horrible isn;t it?! We have these often at the moment, usually involves him hiding under the table for a long time!! #bestandworst xx

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  25. Yes it's a toughy! And when my two get into tantrum mode there us no stopping them #bestandworst xx

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