|Image courtesy of lonewolfconcerto.com
Fear. An emotion, the feeling or condition of being afraid.
Erghh the time has come to yet again face one of my fears. I hate having fears, I hate being fearful. I seem to have a few irrational fears, ones with no rhyme or reason but yet they are there. Tormenting me. These fears are in my head and they plague me until I have to man up and face them I hate this bit.
Here are some of my fears:
Spiders. I actually googled images to include but I just couldn't bring myself to put one on my blog. This is, after all a blog about nice things, pretty things and not evil creatures. I have had a fear of spiders since I was very little. It stems from 1. walking through a web of baby spiders when very little and getting covered in them and 2. pulling the duvet over me to see an actual tarantula (ok, ok I know slight exaggeration but at 7 years old it may as well have been!) running over my duvet towards me.
Flying. This is a weird one as I have no reason to be fearful of flying and yet I am. I have flown quite alot and I won't let my fear stop me from visiting the world, but this is one of my more irrational fears and I am really such a nervous flier, I have to take medication to help me relax. Weird really because I actually quite like the whole airport experience and watching planes from the terminal!
Rollercoasters. With good reason seeing as what has happened recently. Ask any of my friends and they will say just how scared I am to get on a coaster. I once queued up for hours with my friends to go on Air at Alton Towers and chickened out right at the last minute, I would rather do that and watch from the ground. Seriously why would anyone want to go on something that spins you upside down and goes stupidly fast with sometimes just a bar hold on to. Crazy peeps!
Burning or drowning. I sometimes have this dream about the house burning and I can't get out, all the doors are locked and I can't find the keys and all I can think about are getting the children and cats out of the house. I often lie and think about my escape plan from our house! Drowning I just would hate that, the feeling of not being able to get my head out of water just makes me feel really quite panicky even though I'm quite good in water! Bizarre.
Finally, the fear that I am going to have to overcome next week. The dreaded dentist, wahhhh!
To give you a brief background this is another one of my irrational fears. When I was a teenager I got it into my head that it wasn't 'cool' to visit the the dentist, god knows why but I stopped going. Fast forward 10 years (yes, yes I know 10 years since I visited the dentist, silly girl) and surprise, surprise part of my tooth fell out. I then had to be gently persuaded by my dear husband that now was the time to visit the dentist. So after a trip to the Dr to be prescribed some sedatives (lol, honestly Temazepam are marvellous, they really help me relax) I was ready to face my fear. I remember I was absolutely petrified, I was sweating and shaking like a leaf but fortunately I have a very understanding and calm dentist that helped me through it. After 10 years I had 5 fillings to be done, I actually didn't think that was too bad for 10 years worth of no dentist treatment. Over a couple of appointments, the Temazaepam and a shite load of anaesthetic I faced my fears and had the fillings done. It wasn't the worst experience on reflection but obviously not the best.
Anyway, rewind back to Saturday night and I was quite happily enjoying my steak and chips (nom) and I felt a rough part on my back tooth. As I ran my tongue over my tooth I could feel a gap, erghh oh my god, nooooooo this is not good. After a quick check in the mirror it was plain to see that I'd lost half my tooth. Panic started to rise, I could feel it in my belly the nerves and anxiety, I knew this was not a good thing! On inspection my filling was still intact which I was pretty thankful for. I just kept thinking why oh why do these things happen on a weekend AND just before we go away on holiday?! I then found out on Monday that my usual dentist is on holiday for a week meaning that I couldn't get an appointment till the next Monday. So I am booked in for then, I'm scared of course, a little anxious and I'm worried that they may have to drill out the filling or take my tooth out. I'm praying that won't be the case and he might be able to just rebuild the tooth but my fear is starting to rear its ugly head.
I have been wondering if your teeth are more liable to damage after being pregnant? Does anyone have any light to shed on this?
So this has definitely been the worst part to my week so far, I suspect that Monday won't be great but at least I know I'm going to a dentist who I trust and hopefully it will be fixed before we go away to France!
So the moral of the story ladies and gents is don't have silly irrational fears such as visiting the dentist, it comes back to bite you on the bum years later when you're much more aware of things!