Friday 18 November 2016

Another New Chapter.

I usually write my weekly round up post ready for today but for some reason I'm struggling to sum up my week because only one thing has been dominating it. 

On Wednesday I left a job that I love and that's why it was so difficult to leave because there wasn't a day that went by that I disliked it. Of course I had days that weren't so good but I can hand on heart say that I am so pleased I made the decision at the beginning of the year and took the step in practice nursing. 

I don't even really know where I'm going with this post, so bear with me! I'm going to rewind back to the end of last year, we'd just moved and I knew that my maternity leave was soon going to be coming to an end and a new job was going to be on the cards. I'd already been offered a community nursing job which I'd accepted but it was for 4 days a week which was 1 more day that I ideally wanted and I was having lots of concerns about it but accepted it non the less as having a job was better than being jobless once my mat pay had stopped. 


Image result for a new chapter quotes
Image courtesy of quotesogram.com
In the run up to starting this job I entered quite a dark place. To be honest I haven't talked about it much, I did offload to a couple of people and they know who they are (thankyou for keeping me sane) and up until this post I haven't really talked about how low I was really feeling. I felt incredibly overwhelmed with the return to work looming and not returning to a job was familiar with or colleagues I knew was hard to digest. I finally accepted that things weren't good for me emotionally when I had a 'new to the area' visit from the health visitor. She was one of the nicest health visitors I've ever met and she randomly asked me how things were with me which is a question I wasn't expecting. All my concerns, worries and emotions kind of came tumbling out and I had to fill out another PND questionnaire (I was borderline after I had Alfie but managed to sort myself out quite quickly), this time I scored quite highly, naively I never even gave PND a thought 9 months after birth but I guess anything's possible. I just want to add that I didn't have PND but I was on the borderline which improved over a few weeks. I was also struggling with Alfie's behaviour at this point which was making things even more tricky for me trying to manage my feelings, remain calm, unpack a house and get used to a new area and all of this really got on top of me. After chatting about things with the health visitor and knowing that I absolutely didn't want any medication I agreed to being referred for some talking therapies.........this all seems incredibly ironic considering that where I was referred to is where I refer patients to now for help! I had my reservations but thought what have I got to lose. I saw the health visitor every couple of weeks for a couple of months, this was purely for me to chat to her nothing to do with the kids as she was so complimentary towards them which when you're feeling like a crap parent and a total let down is reassuring.  

Fast forward a few weeks and I had a phone consultation with the talking therapies people who did feel I'd benefit from some CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy), I was still feeling really quite anxious about things and having loads of irrational mood swings and teary moments (which is very unlike me), things weren't good between myself and Adi and I was spending every day worried about something. I'd convinced myself I should be a stay at home mum and Elarna was still far too dependent on me for me to leave her yet. Not long after I'd had this phone consultation I had a face to face appointment for my first appointment. After my first session I decided that it most certainly wasn't for me and didn't attend anymore and knew I had to dig deep and get myself out of this crazy way I was feeling. So I tried to start looking forward to my new job and starting a new chapter. 

I started my induction, it was hard as it was miles away from me and it was taking me 90+ mins every day to get there and then back again, it was horrendous and I had 2 weeks of it but knew it had to be done, but on day 3 I had a phonecall........was I still looking for a practice nurse job and would I like to go for an interview. Well rightly or wrongly I thought what the hell, might be interesting so I went for it and got offered the job on the spot. I do believe in fate and I think in this instance fate was trying to tell me something so I took a leap into the unknown and accepted it. 



So I started my new job as a practice nurse a couple of weeks after having the interview. I was looking forward to it, they could offer me 3 days a week (all be it long days) and slightly more money than I'd be on as a community nurse. It was the best thing I could have done. As soon as I started I had a good feeling about things, the team was lovely, everyone welcoming and I liked the concept of what the surgery offered (same day clinics, triaging as well as normal practice nurse competencies). After a month or so I started to feel like me again, I was happier, the weight that I was carrying on my shoulders slowly lifted and I started to feel positive about the future. Taking this job was one of the best things I could have done at that point in my life and that's why it's been so hard to leave. 

I was never actively looking to leave this surgery the only thing I'd said to myself that if a job came up closer to home I'd be interested. The surgery I was working at took about 40 minutes (on a good day) each way and often longer as the road is rubbish. I have been working 8:00am - 6:30pm so I'm out the house a good 12 hours so yes it's been tiring but still I've never been miserable. 

I randomly applied for a job in the summer, I was browsing, I'd had a bad day and I applied as I saw a position 5 minutes away from where I live and thought what the hell I'll apply, I genuinely thought nothing of it until they offered me an interview (weeks later)........and then offered me the job. Ohh crap were my first thoughts, I hate decision making!! I knew deep down that working closer to home on slightly less hours and been offered a bit more money was a no brainer so I took to the job. I've had a 3 month notice period to work, it's such a long notice period, it makes you question whether the decision you've made is the right one. Who knows, time will tell I guess but I'll never know if I don't try so although I'm very sad to leave my current surgery behind I'm looking forward to starting (yet another!) new chapter. 

So I left on Wednesday, I had a great last day, lovely nurses on that day, we had a lunch out and I was treated to some lovely gifts.I did leave with a heavy heart and it was awfully hard to say goodbye but I'm not going to lose touch with the girls, definitely not, they are too nice to not see again. I have alot to thank this surgery for, it pulled me from a dark place and I'm pleased I took the job. If all goes to pot I've been told I can go back which is lovely to hear but for the moment I'm looking fotward to being able to spend a bit more time with the littlies and seeing what the future holds. 

In other news, a quick round up of this week, the weekend was ok, we had a little birthday party to go to, then I had some Lenny time and snuggles and the rest of the week was spent working and washing the huge mound of clothes that had appeared!



So what a week eh!! 

The Reading Residence

Twin Mummy and Daddy

PoCoLo

36 comments:

  1. It's so hard to leave a job that you love - especially one that's helped you get out of the dark place you were in with the PND even if you know it is probably the right decision to make. Wishing you all the best of luck for your new job and hope you will end up enjoying it every bit as much as the job you've just left x #WotW

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  2. Good luck with your new job. I hope you end up enjoying it just as much xx #PoCoLo #PoCoLo
    p.s. I love your logo/banner

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  3. I had to leave a job I loved, it is such a difficult thing to do but sometimes you have to take that leap of faith and hope it all works out. Good luck in your new job, I'm sure you'll soon be enjoying not having all the travelling to do and the long hours. x

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  4. Wow! What a week! I'm so glad you found something a bit closer to home. Time on the road can be so stressful. 'Very best wishes to you in your new job! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

    Hopping over from PoCoLo...

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  5. So glad you feel like yourself and have the job closer to home hun. I remember that stressy period for you and never fun :-( Exciting times to come xx #thatfridaylinky

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  6. Sounds like your job was the very best thing that could have happened at that time, and with a lovely group of people there, it would be hard to leave. I wish you the best starting your new job - enjoy those shorter commutes! Thanks for sharing with #WotW x

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  7. Bless you with your pnd but glad to hear your job has been so good and working there has helped you through it. I hope the new job is just as good for you, if not better as you're closer to home with less of a commute. Best of luck for your new job! Xx

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  8. It sounds like your the job was fantastic for you. Just what you needed. I can understand why it was so hard to say goodbye. Good luck with the new job x

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  9. Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling so good good luck with new job Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

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  10. I hope the new job is just as enjoyable as your last one. Thanks for linking up to That Friday Linky

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  11. Sounds a busy week and mostly great (apart from the mound of washing - where does it all come from?!) I remember reading your blog when you were going back to work a while back, glad it all worked out ok and you found a job in a great team. I'm sure you'll all keep in touch, that's the good thing about great teams. Wishing you all the best in your new role, I know you'll rock it. Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo xx

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  12. Sounds like you really went through it, but well done for starting a new chapter. The last job came along at just the right time, like fate and although it was hard to leave it sounds like this new one has come at the right time too. Good luck in this next chapter x
    #PoCoLo

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  13. I remember you saying yoy had a new job. I really hope you settle in and enjoy it as its definitely much closer to home which is good. Hopefully you can stay in touch with l your old friends too! Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays

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  14. I'm so glad that getting the job pulled you out of your dark space! I'm certain there was a reason you applied for your new job on a whim, and I'm sure it will bring even more positive into your life. Good luck and I hope you enjoy it as much as your old job! #MarvMondays

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  15. Best of luck with your new job. I'm sure with time you will come to love it as much as the one you are leaving. #marvmondays

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  16. It sounds like that job really helped you and took you exactly where you needed to be, and now you're starting on a new adventure better suited to your family which is just fantastic. I wish you all the best in your new role x #MarvMondays

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  17. Good luck with your new job. Hopefully, you'll soon come to love it as much as the one you're leaving. #marvmondays

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  18. It is so hard to leave a job you love but if you've left it for a new opportunity then that is always worth it, especially if it's better for your family! #marvmondays

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  19. Everything happens for a reason, so I'm sure your new job will be a great new journey in your and your family life! All the best!
    #bestandworst

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  20. I hope you really enjoy this new job - the opportunity has presented itself to you for a reason! #bestandworst

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  21. Good luck with the new job and thanks for sharing so much with us in this post. Huge thanks for cute Cavi photo of Lenny, he is too cute #bestandworst x

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  22. Working so close can make such a positive difference to your life. Cute pooch!

    #BestandWorst

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  23. Must be so hard to leave a job you love - but good luck with the new one. Hope it all goes well for you x #bestandworst

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  24. Exciting times... good luck with it! And btw, that puppy is super cute!!! #bestandworst

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  25. It is really hard to know what is for the best sometimes. Fingers crossed all goes ok. Working shorter days makes a big difference, but it's always hard to leave a job you enjoy #Bestandworst

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  26. Wow it sounds like you've had a lot going on all at once. No wonder you've been feeling so overwhelmed. I hope your new job goes well and I bet it's a little easier knowing that toucan go back to the safety of your old job if the new one doesn't work out. I have no idea how you jiggle two kids, a job and blogging though. Give yourself a break because it sounds like you are doing amazing considering everything you have going on. Anybody would struggle to cope with all of that.

    (Unhinged mummy stopping by from #bestandworst). Thanks for hosting :-)

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  27. It sounds like you've been through such a journey to get to where you are now, but its good to maybe look at the job that you're leaving as a stepping stone to where you are going next. You can take from it the good memories and the support it gave to you, and carry them with you to your new role. No matter what happens you are giving yourself more time with your family and that can only be a good thing. Good luck lovely. I'm sure you'll be really happy xx #bestandworst

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  28. I've never had a job that I love. Good for you for taking a chance at something new. I love the quote you included about starting a new chapter. Good luck and I hope you love it!

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  29. I really hope Monday went well for you. It's even harder when you are leaving something you liked, but it will be nice to be closer to home #bestandworst

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  30. What a busy week! Hopefully things will soon get loads better and start looking up for you and you'll enjoy your new job just as much as the old one :) #MarvMondays

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  31. Good luck! i think changing jobs is one of the hardest and scariest things, but also so exciting, it's a new adventure! #bestandworst

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  32. Good luck with new job thanks for hosting #bestandworst

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  33. I'm sorry you went through a hard time :( Having children is so overwhelming that it's bound to take its toll on your emotional help at times. I did have PND and found therapy incredibly useful but I know it's not for everyone and I'm glad you've found your own way and are feeling more positive x #thatfridaylinky

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  34. You are lucky to have experienced a job you loved. I've yet to dicover one that I resonate with. #bestandworst

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  35. Aw - sad to leave a job you like, but it'll be so great working near home! Good luck! #bestandworst

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