Monday 5 October 2015

Out of the Mouths of............



Sometimes words come out of my mouth and I'm a bit like, did I actually say that? Did I really?! Likewise, things that my son says either have me stifling laughter, thinking where the hell did he learn that or agog and hoping he never repeats that in public......ever! As I said in my post the other day, being a Mum of 2 certainly comes with challenges but also that I'm constantly sounding like a broken record and repeating myself over and over again, quite often the same random sentences that I thought I would never hear myself saying!


Here is a little selection of some of the things that I've found myself saying and that Alfie has come out with!



Mummyisms/Alfieisms:



'Alfie stop pulling Winston (cat) tail/ear/fur/paws..........'



'Alfie don't sit on the cat.............or your sister, definitely don't sit on your sister!'



'Don't poke your sister in the eye.............or hit her on the head and definitely don't try and pick her up (on your own)..... too late, arghhhh, let Mummy help. 



'Alfie stop bouncing/rocking/kicking the jumperoo, and definitely don't push it over'.........too late, oh nooooooo *as I then see said jumperoo being flipped over with baby legs suddenly in the air.......said baby giggling manically, phew, crisis averted kind of'.



'Put your clothes on, why have you taken them off? You're naked again.......let me get you dressed'. Generally fighting a losing battle. 


'Mummy, I want some beer, I want some beer now.......'. (Just going to leave this one here.)

'I just don't like you Mummy. Leave me alone, I just DON'T like you, go away!!!!' - Thanks son!

This was said to friends of my parents..... 'Thingyy, chase after me, thingy.....!', luckily we all found it quite amusing, including 'thingy' aka Dave!

'Alfie......don't you dare throw my phone/laptop/makeup/your sisters dummy/my bra/your pants/the remote/ornaments down the stairs/out of the window/behind the sofa/out of the car.....'

Too late..............

Alfie: 'It's gone now......but it wasn't me, I didn't do it, I definitely didn't do it Mummy!'.

At least he now knows how to pronounce 'helicopter', when he was younger for some bizarre reason helicopters were 'telefu*kers'...... I have no idea. However this did turn into quite an embarrassment as we'd be walking in town and suddenly he would point and shout, 'Mummy look a telefu*cker!', I'm sure you can imagine my face and quite clearly  putting him right, saying, 'you mean a helicopter son!'. 

There is however one word that he says that I don't want him to ever change, in our house now and forever cucumbers are and always will be cumbumber........I love it haha!

Oh there is so many more where these came from, I could probably write a a short story on them but for the moment I will leave it here. I imagine that I will write a part 2 at somepoint!

So come on, tell me what crackers your little ones have said before?


Best of Worst

MaternityMondays


magic-moments
The Twinkle Diaries





My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows

46 comments:

  1. haha I love this Helen...has to be the helicopter one that had me laughing out loud!! He's so funny xx #fartglitter

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  2. I certainly feel like I have tourettes sometimes, shouting things out all the time - like you it is usually things about not hitting / punching / kicking his sister! #maternitymonday

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  3. Yup! I will never look at helicopters in quite the same way...that's a classic! I kept a little notebook with all their little sayings...makes for worthwhile reading now that they're older, lol. Great post. #fartglitter

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  4. 'You're naked again!' and 'cumcumber' will keep me smiling all day! We had an interesting moment with some new vocabulary today. 'Don't grab your penis when it's poopy!' wasn't something I thought I'd hear myself say.

    Thanks so much for linking up with #fartglitter.

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  5. Hahahaha love these! I caught myself saying to LM "No we dont ever eat dirty nappies" lol not something I ever thought I would say! Xx

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  6. It is great to record things like this as you will forget if not #magicmoments

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  7. I love the things children say, quite innocently. One of the boys used to call his coke a beer, as he would only have it when we were out and he idolised his Dad, so would have a beer the same lol. I was out with him and my Mum one day and we stopped for a drink, the waiter came over to take our order, before we could say anything this little voice pipes up 'I will have a beer please', we had to quickly explain what he meant x

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  8. Haha this did make me smile, I especially like the name for the helicopters. My favourite saying is leave your brother alone, or stop trying to strangle each other. Never when I was pregnant did I think I'd be saying this! #maternitymondays

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  9. Blueberries in our house have been boobies for years and I still chuckle to myself. I never thought i would tell the children not to lick so many things... the window/each other/the cat/ a tent pole! Love this post x #maternitymondays

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  10. Hahaha brilliant, I love his helicopter word! #fartglitter

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  11. Hahaha, what an adorable post. Kids are just little bundles of cuteness aren't they! x

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  12. Cute! My three year old is forever coming out with the funniest things! At the moment she is often doing 'portant work' or her dinner looks 'sgusting' :P

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  13. Good Photography.. Cute baby Thanks for sharing..

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  14. Oh the throwing stuff down the stairs thing! My 4 year old still does that (i think that's my fault thought because i throw my washing down the stairs haha). The Helicopter saying did make me laugh! #TwinklyTuesday

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  15. Ha ha. The conversations I find myself having nowadays are very amusing. The following after a rather drama-filled toddler toilet trip is a classic in our household...

    Poppy: "But I wanted to flush my poo mummy" (whined after I was too hasty to flush)
    Me: "Sorry Pops. Shall I do a wee so you can flush my wee instead?"
    Poppy: "No" (Said whilst giving me a look that says she thinks I've finally gone completely off my rocker... which I clearly have!)

    Another recent one I overheard as Mr J was trying to convince toddler to go to bed...

    Poppy: "But I NEEEEEEEEED a massage first daddy". Yes, Poppy has a similar grasp of the word need as Waitrose so of 'essential'!

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  16. Haha, brilliant! I do find myself saying 'you're naked again!' alot and not just to Archie. 🙈 #bestworst

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  17. Back again for #bestandworst remembering frequently hollering 'Don't lick the dog!' at the baby. Yes, you read that right.

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  18. Kids do say some pretty funny things at times! My two have! #bestandworst

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  19. LOVE this! Good on you for writing them down, I wish I had! If it wasn't funny at the time, chances are you can look back on them and have a good chuckle!x

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  20. Haha! I love the things Alfie says - the toddler is pretty much on a par. I DON'T like you. Well that is not a nice thing to say now is it?? Thanks for hosting #bestandworst xx

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  21. Love this! The things kids say eh?! How do kids always make at least one word sound rude or like a swear word?! They always have one word haha!

    #bestandworst

    Gemma xx

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  22. Haha love this posts kids can be so funny without realising thanks for hosting bestandworst

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  23. Love ths! "cumbumber" is genius, and I think we may have to adopt it in our house too just for the giggles. A little while ago my tot announced to me "Mummy, I found a happyping with my ear." I had to consider this for a minute before replying "Yes, that's right, you can hear an airplane." Ancient Greek has nothing on "Toddler." Brill post. Looking forward to part 2. x
    #bestandworst

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  24. Lol. My little monster says 'cumbumber' as well 😂

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  25. Lol bless him. Sometimes when I read things like this I do think that maybe it's not all bad that my son has a speech delay ;-) However, Harry does often get confused and calls his father Daddy Pig and me Mummy Pig. I'm hoping he stops this soon! Oh, and I also spend a lot of screaming at him to get off his sister and at his sister to get off the dog! Oh the joys.

    Visiting from your linky #bestandworst. Thanks for hosting :-)

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  26. Love this :) sometimes i think i'd like to listen to a recording of everything i say in a day - i'm pretty sure it'd be similar to this. But maybe i just wouldn't want to know! #bestandworst

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  27. haha all good fun hey! Im sure that children are sent to test us! Cant wait for Jack to start talking :) xx #bestandworst

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  28. Haaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! They say the best things don't they!! My daughter called my husband's body hair FUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thanks for hosting x

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  29. I constantly hear my mum in the things I say these days - NOT good! #bestandworst

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  30. TG has just started nursery where they have corrected her gorgeous phrase 'please may can I have'. We never had the heart to as it was too cute! X MMT #bestandworst ps. Helicopter. Brilliant :-)

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  31. The helecopter one is great. Just last week the two year old daughter of my best friend after having a massive tantrum in the street turned round and pitifully wailed 'nobody loves me, nobody at all' #bestandworst

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  32. Haha! Cumbumber! When I did a post of things I have found myself saying 'please don't sit on The Baby' (well, ride her, actually) was on there too - why do they all want to sit on the baby?? You'll have to hope he doesn't ask for beer in public! Hilarious! #bestandworst

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  33. Alfie's alternative to helicopter is hilarious! My little one used to sing "5 little ducks" and when it got to the Mummy duck part, he would sing "Mummy duck said crap crap crap" ha ha - they are so adorable (some of the time hey?!) Thanks for hosting #bestandworst

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  34. Brilliant, love his word for helicopters but I can imagine some pretty cringeworthy moments when he shouted that in the street. I love cumbumbers haha :) Thanks for hosting #bestandworst
    Debbie

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  35. why does it sound funny when they pronounce words wrongly and more funnier when it sounds like a swear word.. lol. my son used to pronounce broccoli as blocoreee... i know he pronounced it wrong but we kept asking him about it, lol Silly parents! #bestandworst

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  36. Kids are so good at repeating stuff haha I won't tell you some of mine as they're pretty awk, but I will tell you today Megs said to me "you are disgusting mummy...I am not your fwend...you are a smelly mummy!" - I think its because everytime she poops her pants we say "errr thats disgusting" and "you are smelly now and need a shower!" ...at least I hope so x #bestandworst

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  37. Still loving the helicopter pronounciation! Back from #bestandworst, thanks for hosting x

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  38. Oh this was golden! Kids make us say the strangest things... Not too long ago I remember telling my one year old that he can't bite his dad's toes. Haha! Love how your son pronounces helicopters, though! 😂

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  39. Hahahaha... my boy is only 8 months, so he's only screaming "Eek" every time he sees our cat, a random dog, basically any animal or fire (I fear he'll turn into a pyromaniac as he gets so excited). My friend's 2 year old struggled with helicopter too...but that came out as Hot Cock Cock ... also slightly embarrassing when he spotted one in the air out and about. Thank you for hosting. #bestandworst

    Nadia - ScandiMummy x

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  40. The helicopter one is genius! It's not even something you can work out where he got it from. Thank you for hosting #bestandworst

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  41. I was actually wetting myself at cumbumbers and telef*ckers. Thank you so much. thank you for hosting #bestandworst

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  42. I love these posts and have written a couple myself! It's so funny the things they come out with but helicopters is great. My favourite of Zach's is when he was asking me for his smammox and I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about! I only realised when he handed me his spanner from his workshop that that was what smammox was! And he still calls it that now! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

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  43. Ha ha you must have been mortified of the helicopter one! CRINGE! But so funny. My favourite ones at the moment are 'nins and needles' instead of pins and needles and 'hair flick' instead of hairclip.I try to make lists to remember them as they are all priceless aren't they! Becky x #bestandworst

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  44. They really do say the funniest things don't they - I am always having to redress Finley!! #bestandworst xx

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  45. Wow.. this is very Cute baby,.. lovely Good photography

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  46. Wow.. lovely Wonderful kids.. Great Thanks for sharing..

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