There comes a time, especially it seems when you blog, that you need to step back. Step back from the laptop, social media and writing. Over the last few months I have been really working hard on my blog, almost at times consumed by it. Being on maternity leave has enabled me to devote more time to it and write, what I feel is some decent content. This is all well and good but in all honesty I feel I am starting to sacrifice some moments that I won't get back with Alfie & Elarna.
I seem to be feeling more and more guilty as the weeks go on that I am sat in front of my laptop for quite a considerable amount of time, be it writing, promoting posts, editing photos or sorting out the linky (which is love doing but it is time consuming) or chatting online. I do absolutely love my blog but I know deep down that I need to step away from it during the week, it is keeping me very busy of late which is great and I'm having some wonderful opportunities but I do need to take a reality check.
This conversation has made me realise this.
This little voice is calling me, talking to me, almost pleading with me.
'Alfie: 'mummy will you play?'
Me: 'In a minute'
Alfie: *tugs my hand* 'mummyyyyyy, set up my train track, pleasseeeee!'
Me: 'In a minute!!!'
Me: *getting frustrated* 'just let me finish what I'm doing..............'
Alfie then takes himself off and starts playing quietly, I then feel hugely guilty. What is it that can't wait? My blog can wait, social media can wait, emails can wait. For christs sake I am NEVER going to get this precious time back with these two children .
Elarna starts to cry, I pick her up and sit her on my kneee and with one hand continue to do what I was doing, tapping away on a post I was writing. Elarna at this age obviously doesn't know that I'm not devoting my full attention to her at this point but Alfie on the other hand is well aware of it and has now started to ask me if I'm working which obviously not a good thing.
I'm trying to think of ways to manage my time so I can have more time during the day to play, go for walks and have cuddles on the sofa. Over the last week I have started to do this and it's been really lovely, I will do a little bit in the morning and then focus on playtime or heading out in the garden. I went for a long walk on Monday with Alfie, Elarna and my parents, we went to the park, we looked at the lorries on the A14 and then we went to meet Daddy at the station, it felt great to be out and away from my laptop and social media for a while. Tuesday Alfie was at nursery so I was able to do housework, look after Elarna and do bloggy related things. Wednesday, linky day is a bit manic and it was awful weather but Alfie and I read some books, played with his trains and sat on the sofa and chatted, today Alfie was at nursery and I popped out for a few hours so again was away from all things bloggy for a while.
It's actually felt quite refreshing, I mean lets face it I don't have to write posts every day, it doesn't really matter if my stats suddenly drop because I'm not blogging or promoting, these things can all be done later on when the babes are in bed or even another day.
So from next week I'm declaring a day of no stressing about writing for my blog. I'm going to check my emails, reply to any that need replying to, I will link up any posts that I feel I need to but for the rest of the day I will be with my children and enjoying the last few months with them before I return to work (shudder). Once the kids are in bed business can then resume as normal.
Guilt, it really is a funny old thing though, it eats away at you. The days go so quickly by the time I know it's bedtime. I have been feeling so crappy the last few days about not spending enough time with the 2 of them that I'm really looking forward to the next few days when I know we have some quality time lined up.
Please tell me that I'm not the only who feels like this? How do you deal with dedicating time to children and hobbies?Any advice appreciated!