I'm in charge. I am, I really am. You're only three, how can you possibly be in charge. I'm the adult, not you. You should be listening to me!
sometimes most of the time you never seem to listen to me, it's all on your terms. I say do something and you say no. I say don't do something you do it anyway. I say stop and sometimes you laugh.
Where are the instructions kept for a toddler? Someone pass me the remote so I can reprogramme this thing, I think I'm doing something wrong. Or am I? Is this just the way that toddlers are? Is it that actually I'm not doing anything wrong at all but this is just how it is in a three year old world?
I'm not the most patient person and I readily admit it. I find it hard to keep my cool at times, especially when tired and cranky and you have this little person who just keeps pushing your buttons (and my god he knows the buttons to press). I genuinely never knew that such a little person could make me so cross at times.
For example take the other morning. This was a nursery morning and my husband had gone to London so I had to deal with both kids myself. Elarna was still dozing at the point Alfie woke up which made things easier for me. He starts screaming down the monitor 'daddyyyyyyy!!!', 'daddyyyyyyyy' so I trudge upstairs in a sleepy haze to be greeted with 'no mummy, want daddy go downstairs'. Excellent. Always a great start. NOT. I then have to practically drag him out of bed protesting. Then comes the battle for him to brush his teeth which is like playing some warped game show. It turns into some bizarre minty, foaming rave....almost, amidst all the wailing and screaming. I am saying to him 'mummy is in charge, not Alfie. Mummy is bigger than you and will always win'. Yeah right *insert sad/frustrated/annoyed face here*.
After that battle then comes the time to try and put his clothes on. Seriously HOW does a toddler manage to get their limbs in such a way you end with an arm in a trouser leg and pants on an arm? Serious question. 'Nooooo Mummy, nooooo, noooo want clothes on, nooooooo!!!'. Jesus Christ, I can feel my patience wearing thin. I can feel the rage starting to build, I hate feeling like this, why can't he just do as he's told? It's at times like this I start to feel a little broken. Have we made him this way? Is it our fault?
I then lose my temper and shout, I shout at him to listen to Mummy and do what I'm asking. I bribe, I tell him he can watch Milkshake before we go to nursery. It doesn't work. I tell him he can play with his trains before we leave. It doesn't work. I threaten the naughty corner if he doesn't get dressed. It doesn't work. I feel like crying right now. I then really shout at him. I mean really shout and he then starts to sob. Shit. What must the neighbours think? They probably think I'm some sort of child abuser. Shit. Through the tears and screaming (and my tears) he then lets me get him dressed. He snaps my necklace, arghhhhhh!! I then shout again (more tears, shit again). We eventually, in a sobbing and miserable fashion manage to complete the getting ready for nursery mission. We go downstairs together with him still sobbing and asking for his teddy bear, I give him said teddy bear which he clings on to for dear life. I feel drained and it's not even 8:30am. He can sense that I'm miserable and cross and lets me put his socks and shoes on with no bother and we then hug it out.
As quick as it started it finished. He hugs me like his little life depends on it and I can't stop apologising to him and telling him I love him. I say sorry, he says sorry, my heart melts. I then wonder why the hell am I apologising? He started it!!! Rahhh! Kids.
I get him into the car with no bother (Mummy win). I then get Elarna into the car (bless her she just slept through all the screaming!).We chat, he tells me 'Alfie cry this morning, Mummy was cross. Mummy shouted'. Shit. (Mummy fail). All I can think about is please, please don't repeat this at nursery, seriously!!
Nursery drop off complete I then spend the rest of the day feeling like utter crap. I pick him up from nursery a little earlier than I would normally and in the car he's lovely. We get home and the day ends like it started. 'Want Daddy!! Where's Daddy?'. More screaming and wailing and then eventually Daddy walks in the door. Thank f*c* for that .......
Let's not forget that I also have the small responsibility of a newborn to look after too, this multitasking malarkey is hard! I love him with all my heart, that obviously goes without saying buy my god he can be hard work at times!
I've genuinely no idea how to deal with his behaviour some days. Sometimes he is the sweetest boy, he is kind and caring and loving but sometimes he is the devil incarnate! Enough said.
When it's just us he can be quite well behaved, I just find the whole Mummy in charge thing tough. I sometimes take the easy route out (I know, I know not a great option) but for an easy life I give in and let him have the tablet or the green crisps (not the red ones Mummy!!) or let him run around with no shorts on. Call me a bad Mum but for some peace and quiet (at times) I'm ok with that.
So I leave you with this thought. I am in charge. I am. Really.
How do you deal with toddler tantrums? Does anyone else sometimes feel the toddler is in charge?!