Monday, 15 June 2015

I'm in Charge.I am.Really.

I'm in charge. I am, I really am. You're only three, how can you possibly be in charge. I'm the adult, not you. You should be listening to me! 

But sometimes  most of the time you never seem to listen to me, it's all on your terms. I say do something and you say no. I say don't do something you do it anyway. I say stop and sometimes you laugh. 

Where are the instructions kept for a toddler? Someone pass me the remote so I can reprogramme this thing, I think I'm doing something wrong. Or am I? Is this just the way that toddlers are? Is it that actually I'm not doing anything wrong at all but this is just how it is in a three year old world?


I'm not the most patient person and I readily admit it. I find it hard to keep my cool at times, especially when tired and cranky and you have this little person who just keeps pushing your buttons (and my god he knows the buttons to press). I genuinely never knew that such a little person could make me so cross at times. 

For example take the other morning. This was a nursery morning and my husband had gone to London so I had to deal with both kids myself. Elarna was still dozing at the point Alfie woke up which made things easier for me. He starts screaming down the monitor 'daddyyyyyyy!!!', 'daddyyyyyyyy' so I trudge upstairs in a sleepy haze to be greeted with 'no mummy, want daddy go downstairs'. Excellent. Always a great start. NOT. I then have to practically drag him out of bed protesting. Then comes the battle for him to brush his teeth which is like playing some warped game show. It turns into some bizarre minty, foaming rave....almost, amidst all the wailing and screaming. I am saying to him 'mummy is in charge, not Alfie. Mummy is bigger than you and will always win'. Yeah right *insert sad/frustrated/annoyed face here*.

After that battle then comes the time to try and put his clothes on. Seriously HOW does a toddler manage to get their limbs in such a way you end with an arm in a trouser leg and pants on an arm? Serious question. 'Nooooo Mummy, nooooo, noooo want clothes on, nooooooo!!!'. Jesus Christ, I can feel my patience wearing thin. I can feel the rage starting to build, I hate feeling like this, why can't he just do as he's told? It's at times like this I start to feel a little broken. Have we made him this way? Is it our fault? 

I then lose my temper and shout, I shout at him to listen to Mummy and do what I'm asking. I bribe, I tell him he can watch Milkshake before we go to nursery. It doesn't work. I tell him he can play with his trains before we leave. It doesn't work. I threaten the naughty corner if he doesn't get dressed. It doesn't work. I feel like crying right now. I then really shout at him. I mean really shout and he then starts to sob. Shit. What must the neighbours think? They probably think I'm some sort of child abuser. Shit. Through the tears and screaming (and my tears) he then lets me get him dressed. He snaps my necklace, arghhhhhh!! I then shout again (more tears, shit again). We eventually, in a sobbing and miserable fashion manage to complete the getting ready for nursery mission. We go downstairs together with him still sobbing and asking for his teddy bear, I give him said teddy bear which he clings on to for dear life. I feel drained and it's not even 8:30am. He can sense that I'm miserable and cross and lets me put his socks and shoes on with no bother and we then hug it out. 

As quick as it started it finished. He hugs me like his little life depends on it and I can't stop apologising to him and telling him I love him. I say sorry, he says sorry, my heart melts. I then wonder why the hell am I apologising? He started it!!! Rahhh! Kids.


I get him into the car with no bother (Mummy win). I then get Elarna into the car (bless her she just slept through all the screaming!).We chat, he tells me 'Alfie cry this morning, Mummy was cross. Mummy shouted'. Shit. (Mummy fail). All I can think about is please, please don't repeat this at nursery, seriously!! 

Nursery drop off complete I then spend the rest of the day feeling like utter crap. I pick him up from nursery a little earlier than I would normally and in the car he's lovely. We get home and the day ends like it started. 'Want Daddy!! Where's Daddy?'. More screaming and wailing and then eventually Daddy walks in the door. Thank f*c* for that .......

Let's not forget that I also have the small responsibility of a newborn to look after too, this multitasking malarkey is hard! I love him with all my heart, that obviously goes without saying buy my god he can be hard work at times!



I've genuinely no idea how to deal with his behaviour some days. Sometimes he is the sweetest boy, he is kind and caring and loving but sometimes he is the devil incarnate! Enough said. 

When it's just us he can be quite well behaved, I just find the whole Mummy in charge thing tough. I sometimes take the easy route out (I know, I know not a great option) but for an easy life I give in and let him have the tablet or the green crisps (not the red ones Mummy!!) or let him run around with no shorts on. Call me a bad Mum but for some peace and quiet (at times) I'm ok with that.

So I leave you with this thought. I am in charge. I am. Really.

How do you deal with toddler tantrums? Does anyone else sometimes feel the toddler is in charge?!


MaternityMondays


Mummascribbles

48 comments:

  1. I had one of those days. I have a 2, 4 and 7 year old boy and mornings are hellish. I scream and cry more than them and as I sit here now and review my parenting day, I feel ashamed. I never knew I had such a temper and the things I say, not to be repeated and they are so sweet sleeping.... I need wine!

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    1. Thankyou so much for the comment, it's reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one and that tempers are so easily flared. It's funny how they know just how to push our buttons! x

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  2. Eurgh poor you. I yelled the other day when Arianna just wouldn't stop crying when we were showering to come home from hols and it made it worse. Now when she starts I am walking away or doing nothing. She had a melt down earlier and was running up to me hitting me. I said nothing and went outside to find hubby. She followed me and totally calmed down. It kills me also but sometimes no expression, say nothing and just do it! e.g dress them, put nappy on seems to work as you are like a dummy literally. I'm going to keep at it as Arianna seems to give in if she is getting nothing from me. Calm, blank mind thoughts help!! Hope you ok now tho hun xxx

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    1. It's so hard isn't it, Alfie really knows what he's doing, they are such clever little things and know exactly what to do to make you lose it! x

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  3. I think we all have days like this when we are at breaking point and our kiddies now it too! Miss M can throw some mega strops in the house so i just sit on the floor and say "when you've quite finished making all this noise i'll talk to you" or i walk off ignoring it and get on with something else until she realizes she's getting no attention from me and then she sulks - that's better then the noise though lol! #mummymonday

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    1. Good idea Rachel! Trouble is when I sit on the floor with Alfie he tends to hit me or bite me so often find the best thing is to ignore him and walk away. Thanks for the comment:-) x

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  4. Ha ha I shout and then beg forgiveness. It is so hard #maternitymondays

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    1. Haha yes I often find myself doing that too, or apologising for something that isn't even my fault! x

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  5. I know how you feel, you are not alone! I too do not have the most patience and can only withstand so much screaming, whining, misbehaving and my daughter generally not listening to me. I shout, she laughs, I shout, she stamps her feet, I shout, she sobs, these are the three most common reactions and every time it does end in tears I think oh crap I've gone too far! I've been trying to ignore the tantrums and sulking but it's hard to keep a straight face or a calm mind. I think we all as mum's go through this, you are not alone and you are doing a great job from what I read!

    Georgia x

    Georgia Petite

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    1. Ahh thanks so much, it can be so hard to keep cool! x

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  6. One day or another, we all go through kids' tantrums. They grow out of it, but then they will have other issues to deal with. Little man is 6, he's a great boy, but sometimes he has his moments. I think it's normal as they are kids, after all! x
    http://lilinhaangel.com/

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    1. I think they all have moments as do adults, it's just finding the right tactics to deal with it!

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  7. My son gets like this sometimes too. He thinks he's the boss of me and forgets that it's actually the other way around. #binkylinky

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  8. Parenting is the hardest job I have ever done and there are days when I am like a fishwife with the boys and feel terrible for it. I ask them to forgive me as Mummy is only human.

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  9. Ah bless you, unfortunately my 8 yr old and 4 yr old are just the same. I often lock myself in the bathroom and have a good cry x

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  10. *hugs* We're just getting into this and I already know I'm going to struggle. If you figure out how to keep your cool please let me know. In the meantime you have my sympathy and a fellow not perfect mum in me.

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    1. Haha will do, wish someone could tell me too! x

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  11. Oh dear, it's so hard isn't it? I don't know if it gets easier, you just get used to it or you find ways of dealing with it. Sorry I can't offer more useful advice!

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    1. You do get used to it to a degree yes but still find it so hard at times! x

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  12. As a teacher, I feel that my class are like this haha! It never changes.

    Lizzie Dripping

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  13. Sadly it doesn't get any easier and only you know what brings your small person out of their tantrums, I find ignoring them the best way if they are safe at home. Just wait until they're teens ;0)

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    1. Oh no lol, I can wait for that age to arrive the threenager is bad enough haha X

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  14. Aw bless you, I feel like this with 3 cats when they just want to fight each other lol x

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    1. Yes we have 2 cats too and often feel like they wind things up when they strut through the house haha X

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  15. Getting clothes on in the morning doesn't get any easier as they get older, but it is different. My son dresses himself, but is always getting distracted so it takes an age.

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    1. Yes that is a bit of a challenge and it doesn't get much easier! x

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  16. I've got an almost-toddler and she gets very frustrated at times but luckily is still easily distracted - I feel for you dealing with full blown tantrums (and looking after a baby at the same time!) x

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    1. Yes it can be hard work, although when he's lovely it's great (obvs), you just never know when a tantrum might strike! x

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  17. Just keeping telling yourself it's just a stage and you will survive,

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    1. I will try, each stage seems to get worse haha X

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  18. oh i think i can join in this one i tend to shout a lot lately but i think it is because they know its getting ready for the holidays so a little over excited , i always beg forgiveness afters and hug them alot

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  19. It is really hard to deal with toddlers, sometimes you just have to stay calm and take things a step at a time.

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    1. Yes you do, and ignoring sometimes works and sometimes doesn't ! x

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  20. I think I have blocked any of this from my mind. But with an 18 year old I would gladly swap as I am sure when he was a toddler I was in charge at least a little bit.

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    1. Oh I suspect that the teenage years will bring some more challenges for sure! x

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  21. I really can relate to this...it actually doesn't happen too often with my toddler but it does happen and it's usually the days when neither of us have had enough sleep and he really does know how to make me cross. Toddlers are seriously HARD work. Just keep going, you'll be out the other side soon (so I keep saying to myself!)

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    1. They are so hard!! I don't know how they do but they are clever little beings! x

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  22. Aww no - it sounds like your having a right time at the moment. x

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    1. Well it can't get much worse with his strops haha x

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  23. Know how you feel. My 5 year old son with autism rules the roost. He's not very verbal so just shrieks some days and I don't know what is wrong. When Dad gets home from work some days I have to go for half an hour break. I home ed too so it's full on! Kids are hard, hard work!

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    1. Sometimes a half hour break is just what you need to recharge! x

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  24. Those days will always come. We're not superheroes or robots, but human beings. It just so happens that those much smaller human beings are just stronger than us. They're the boss!

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    1. Lol. yes it would appear they are.....how did that happen!x

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