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My word of the week is apprehensive.
I'm starting to really enjoy this linky on a Friday, I think back over the week and collaborate all my thoughts into this one post, it can be quite cathartic! This week I feel I have been letting my anxieties get the better of me and have started to over think things leading to some very disturbed nights sleep. I have already been suffering some serious pregnancy related insomnia and Alfie has had a couple of unsettled nights too which has added fuel to the fire, it's like he can sense that I have alot on my mind.
I'm apprehensive about many things at the moment, I'm fairly sure that these are all normal thoughts and feelings but it would be nice if I could switch off a bit, perhaps start becoming a little more positive and less stressed about things. I find myself waking at around 2:30am and my mind suddenly becomes a hive of activity and I can't switch off, round and round the thoughts go and I'm lying awake for what seems like hours before I can drift off back to a light sleep. What I'm seeming to think about most are the birth, I've talked about this in previous posts and clearly I'm still quite traumatised by it so I'm keeping my fingers tightly crossed for an easier time during labour. I'm also apprehensive about soon becoming a family of four, I've always wanted 2 children and I'm super excited about welcoming a little girl into the family the dynamics are going to change and I've no idea in what way but I'm ready to accept the challenge and head into this new territory, so clearly there is apprehension around this, will I cope? What will I do differently? Will it come naturally to me?
We are so used to being a family of three it's certainly going to be interesting adding another body to the household, I am having to remind myself about what looking after a newborn is like and how do I adapt to caring for a hyper toddler at the same time. It's difficult for us as we don't live near any family or close friends so we don't necessarily have someone to call on to give us a hand at short notice, things generally have to be planned in advance and this is something that I will have to bare in mind, thankfully my parents and in laws are extremely helpful and I'm sure will be there for us when needed.
Although I'm apprehensive I am obviously looking forward to seeing what the future holds and I'm very excited about meeting the little one and Alfie becoming a big brother, new challenges await but I am really looking forward to creating some new memories.