Angela who blogs over at http://angelahamilton2014.blogspot.co.uk has kindly written a blog post about suffering from anxiety. Anxiety is not something to be ashamed of nor something that should be taboo, here she openly talks about her anxiety and how in actual fact makes her a completely normal individual.
Anxiety is hard to live with at the best of times. Not knowing when that next panic attack will appear, not knowing how you will react, will you run away or will you stand strong. Imagine all that plus worrying about how your two young children will react if they see mummy having a "weird moment" in the middle of the street.
I am that woman. I'm married to a wonderful man and we have two young children aged 4 and 2. There are days my anxiety is that bad I can't even walk my son to nursery, luckily my husband takes him. The guilt I feel is unreal. Deep down I know this is not my fault. I never asked to be like this, no-one who has a mental health condition wants to be that way but at the same time we are not the condition, we are still the same person we have always been.
Let me give you a little insight to what a panic attack is like. Your heart rate increases, you feel like you can't catch a breath, your eyesight sharpens, you start to sweat, you feel sick, dizzy and you get chest pains. Your brain is working overtime, fighting with itself, trying to convince you that you are in a dangerous situation and it's time to run, the other part of your brain knows there is no danger and is telling you to stay (this is your fight or flight function). It is such a hard and tiring thing to have.
These symptoms are harmless but at the time they are very real and when they happen at the one time they are scary!!
My husband has to do so much. The days that I can't face going out he will do the shopping, take our son to nursery while I stay at home with our daughter, do the house work and deal with bills. He will also take our little girl out to go pick up our son. Days out are hard. I force myself to go. Sometimes it works and we have a great day and sometimes I freak out and want to be at home.
Some days I can be out the house for hours others I just want to hide away and pretend I do not exist.
At this moment I take antidepressants and I am on the waiting list for various types of counselling and self help groups.
I have had anxiety since 2006. For 7 years, 2007-2014, it seemed to have vanished. So this flare up has taken me by surprise.
Anxiety is not going to beat me. I will get better.
Remember if you have anxiety or any other mental health condition you are not alone!
Thanks Angela for a great post and trust me you're not alone with the anxiety!